Learning to Pray in Hard Seasons of Life

Over the last 8 years, I have been pregnant 6 times; I am no stranger to first-trimester survival mode. The constant exhaustion leaves you falling asleep sitting up in the middle of the afternoon and in bed by 7:30. The nausea causes you to just live one moment at a time so you don't throw up while making dinner for your family. This time of pregnancy leaves you in definite survival mode. 

I always begin a pregnancy hopeful that this time it will be different; this time, I'll be able to catch up with the chores and keep up with my daily prayer time. Yet, every time, I feel like I just survive. Every moment of sleep is precious, and if I wake up before my kids, I'll have trouble keeping my eyes open at lunch. I try to plan to pray once the kids are in bed, but by then, I'll be lucky if I jump in the shower and then my head can't avoid hitting the pillow. Sometimes I'll get lucky and get a spare half hour or more. I'll finally sit down to have some quality time with Jesus. I'm either too excited and don't know where to begin, or I just sit there, paralyzed with awe that I have a moment to sit and pray. Before I know it, the time is gone, and I've done what seems like nothing, and then I'm filled with guilt that I wasted the time.

If you are a mom (and even if you're not), you probably have experienced your own season(s) of survival mode. You can experience it when you or your children are sick, a friend or family member is sick or has died, your husband or you are working overtime, you're pregnant, or you have a newborn. It doesn't really matter what the reason is; if you are a mom, you will go through these kinds of seasons. 

Praying as a mom when you're just surviving the day moment by moment does not look like what you might think should be the ideal prayer time. It usually doesn't involve lighting a candle and digging into a scripture passage as you sip a hot coffee. Though that does sound heavenly,  it does not usually look like that. However, it doesn't mean you can't be close to God. On the contrary, during these times, I've found some of my greatest intimacy. It doesn't always feel like it at the time. It usually doesn't, but my reliance on Jesus is almost palpable. I'm never more aware of my need for him than in those times. 

He sees my desire and my efforts, and he meets me there. He meets me in my vocation, not despite it. As I bathe my children, he is there, as he washed the disciples' feet. As I sneak away, desperate for a moment alone, he is there as he slipped away from the crowds.  As I nursed my baby at 3am, offering everything I had to them, he was there, just as he offers his body and blood in the Eucharist at every mass. He is there. Every moment, he's there. The question is, do I see it? Do I embrace it? Do I take refuge in his presence?

Even when we are living hard things, we can be intentional in our relationship with the Lord and live a life of prayer. I have some tips that really don't require more time or much effort, but they will surely remind you of the Lord's continual presence in your life and may even deepen your intimacy with him. 

Tools for praying in times of crisis/seasons of survival mode

Meditative Music

There is something about music that can just lift the soul. I've been listening to Scripture Lullabies on Spotify recently,and it has been like a balm to my spirit. It has soothing, calm music, and it repeats scripture verses over and over. It is such a good way to infuse my day with scripture. As I'm making lunch, folding laundry, or playing with the kids, I'll catch a scripture that's been sung, even if, for a moment, I ponder it. The kids love it, too, which has made it a win-win in this house!

Morning Offering

This is a good anchor to the day. If I had my way, I would start every day with an extended, quiet prayer filled with scripture and conversation with the Lord. Sometimes, though, this looks like "Good morning Jesus, I offer you my day" as I make breakfast or brush my teeth. It doesn't matter if it's not eloquent; I'm offering my day to the Lord.

This Prayer:

"Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living god, have mercy on us and the whole world."

This prayer is my lifeline. In my hardest moments, when I want to scream or run away, I say this instead. I imagine flinging myself into the arms of Jesus, abandoning myself to his great mercy. The other day, I said it out loud when I was frustrated with something going on in the house, and my son commented, "Why do you need mercy, Mom?" 

Who doesn't need mercy? It's waiting for us every moment, and in these times of crisis or exhaustion, we are so much more aware of this need. Go to him and rest in his mercy whenever you can. 

Icons / beautiful images

This is key for me. Throughout my house, I have intentionally hung beautiful images and scripture quotes that point me back to love itself. I put them in key locations that I know I'll spend time in, which can be times of prayer if I remember. These images are my little reminders. 

Near the sink, I have a beautiful image of St. Joseph working in his workshop, Jesus playing nearby, and Mary bringing him a glass of water. It reminds me as I wash dishes to offer every task, even the mundane, to the Lord. Across from my rocking chair, I have an image of Our Lady of La Leche; she is nursing the infant Jesus. When I had a nursing baby, I would look at this image as I nursed, and it would point me to Our Lady, who can pray for me and be a mother to me.  I'll also write out scriptures that resonate with me and put them on the fridge or tape them to the wall to remind me of truths throughout my day. 

Nature, go outside

This one requires more effort, but I promise it's worth it. I try to get outside every day, especially when I'm having a hard time, even in winter. Sometimes, it's only a few minutes on the front porch, but it does wonders. I take notice of how the wind feels on my skin, the smell of the air, and the colours of the season. I try to experience creation. This simple act often leads me to gratitude, which leads me to a conversation with God and recognize his presence. It's also good for my children, and 90% of the time, it improves everyone's moods. 

"Prayer is nothing but a desire of the heart; if desire is continuous, your prayer is continuous. Do you wish never to cease praying? Then never cease desiring" - St. Augustine.

I hope some of these tips can help you reignite your desire for prayer and a relationship with Jesus. Let me know in the comments what resonated with you and what you might add to the list!